being a grown-up is stupid.

parker and i are in the process of buying a house (well, condo, but it's something that we'll own, so house is good enough for me). we met with our realtor and this really intimidating lady yesterday and they bombarded us with all this information about titles and house insurance and a warranty and HOA and escrow and blah and blah.

man. what the heck is escrow? honestly. i had to google just now what escrow is, and i still don't get it.

and parker and i got in a spat last night about the title and how confused i was about it and how i was having anxiety attacks thinking about calling all these people (the phone and i have a hateful relationship) and parker was asking me "are you serious?" when i asked if we had to buy the title.

yes. i was serious.
and no. i don't have to buy it.

luckily, the title and title company makes more sense now. escrow will probably always remain a mystery.

it reminds of this scene in gilmore girls.
in fact, that's the first time i heard the word escrow.

it also reminds me of escargot, which i think i'd rather be dealing with than actual escrow.
at least escargot doesn't make me call it.

it's time for me to get outside.

today is dr. seuss's birthday. it is still a mystery as to how i remember this without having to look it up on the interwebs, but there it is.

i live in a basement apartment, which means a couple of different things. the first being that there are (were) lots of spiders. there was even one on the side of our house that i'd pass everyday in his web. i came close to naming him, but you don't ultimately name things you're going to (for lack of better words) obliterate. after doing some research as to how to get rid of them and after a few close encounters our first month of marriage, parker made the call to the exterminator. (it was either an exterminator or get a cat, and we can barely take care of ourselves let alone another animal. we will be great parents).

$50 later (the BEST $50 i have ever spent. no joke.) we were spider free. well, kind of. there were spider carcasses that we'd occasionally find on the middle of the floor because they had hit the poison and staggered out there to die.

i have no sympathy for them.

anyway, the second thing that it means is that i rarely, if ever, see sunlight. we have a total of five windows in our 600 square feet of luxury and they're all at the top two feet of the wall. i never open these windows, because not much sun comes in them anyway, and i had seen more than my fair share of spider webs by the windows, so i wasn't risking my piece of mind for some vitamin d.

i recently quit my job to finish up my last online class, so i pretty much sit at this computer for 8 hours every day in my sunless apartment. i never get human contact. unless i venture out to the store to get groceries and whatnot (or, in yesterday's case, ringworm cream. yes, i have RINGWORM on my arm from my cast and brace...sick. only dogs and wrestlers get ringworm. how embarrassing.)

this is my long way of saying i need to get outside and away from my computer, so i'm off to take a walk. au revoir.

today

you remember that movie the gremlins?

and the whole day/night that happened as a direct result of that idiot teenager giving into a "cute" animal just because it batted its eyelashes and promised him wealth beyond his imagination? (okay, that last part was made up.)

exhibit a:

yeah.

the chaos and terror of that day doesn't even begin to describe my day.

as i was driving home after this day from hell, i got stopped in one lane traffic on one of the main roads in ogden. the other lane was blocked off by a bunch of orange cones with seemingly no actual construction going on. (utah...)

i then began deciding how much damage would happen to my car if i decided that there really was no construction and ran over every one of those cones.

you know, one probably wouldn't do damage. two, even. but i don't think a whole flock of these cones is going to be nice to my car.

this then led to an image of my car being jammed with those orange cones and some major wreckage happening.

by that point in the thought process, the traffic was gone.

needless to say, stella was spared and the flock of cones (that should be a cover band name for flock of seagulls) won this battle.

but it won't win the war....

(p.s. don't google movie stills from gremlins. especially when you're home by yourself. just don't do it. and then don't feed those stills after midnight. you'll regret it later.)

(p.p.s. bad movie "joke" in that last sentence. it's been a long day.)

cryptic stinging fingers

my fingers are stinging as i type this.
i've been learning the guitar for the past hour and can almost successfully play amazing grace. the d chord gets me every time.

then she came in.
there was no reason for her to say what she said.

it's been a week of break-ups. just one, really.
[the one that we all thought would work out.]
and i'd heard it before.
but when she (not the break-upee) told me straight up
what she thought about what i'd heard this is cryptic, i know
i found it unnecessary.

because she doesn't know.
she doesn't know all that went into what i'd heard.

justlikeidon'tknowmuch,either

the process: the thoughts: the talks: the ducks
she doesn't know.

straight up, there was no reason to judge.
ignorance to a situation most definitely doesn't make you an expert on it.
or him.