Friday, September 6, 2013

"There's a monster outside my window."

"A story about a time you were afraid."

Folks. Never have I been more scared of anything than I was when I watched this movie:

image via here.

Which I actually happened to watch for the first time yesterday with a friend of mine.
Now, let me lead up to where I was actually somewhat afraid, because it certainly wasn't while watching the majority of this movie.

I understand that the '60s were a different time, and they didn't have the special effects we have now, or the ability for convincing storytelling, apparently, and they had the inability to edit information that was superfluous to the plot. I mean, who shows a full shot for 2 minutes of a woman driving away in a turquoise Chevy right after she'd seen this?

image via here.

I'll admit, that part was a little disturbing, but was quickly watered-down by the very calming/ordinary scene of a woman driving down a dirt road. Come on.

What my friend and I failed to understand was how in the world could a bird do enough damage to kill someone? I mean, sure, that guy above has probably seen better days (ha, pun not intended), but if you got your eyes gouged out you would still be alive, albeit in a little bit of shock. And the rest of him? Unless this guy was sitting in a pool of his own blood, I doubt that those little scratches that the birds gave him would kill him.

We concluded that the real killer in this movie was probably bacteria. Or some kind of bird disease.

Now, to where I did get somewhat afraid.
In the end of the movie, they decide that instead of fleeing a town overrun by an ornithological anomaly, the most sensical thing they could do would be to stay in their house. I mean, as long as the windows are boarded up, things, should be fine, right?

This was survival of the fittest at its finest hour. Horror movies are just showing the people at the bottom of the societal totem pole. You know, the ones that shouldn't further the species because they're just so.....stupid.

Anyway, them boarding up the house reminded me of a movie that I still find truly terrifying/awesome.

image via here.

image via here.

Why do I do this to myself.
I'm at my house alone, and although it's 10:35 in the morning, my heart rate has gone up significantly upon Googling that top image. This is why I have anxiety, folks. 

When we first moved into our condo we didn't have curtains, and from my spot on the bed I am just below eye level with the roof of the building next door. Naturally, when I woke up in the middle of the night, somewhere in the recesses of my mind I thought of, "Daddy, there's a monster outside my window, can I have a glass of water?"

image via here.

And to this day I have to have a pillow in front of my curtains so our fan doesn't blow them open in the middle of the night, leaving me to look at the roof and imagine an alien.

So, moral of the story.
Watch The Birds if you want a laugh (and there was a point where we had to rewind the movie three times because a scene was so funny) and don't Google pictures of aliens. You will be sorry.

(P.S. If you want a really lovely analysis of this movie, go to the link for that last picture. It basically sums up why this movie is so terrifyingly awesome.)

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