hello hello hello hello we welcome you today.

i got tagged from whit over at as luck would have it. (for those of you who haven't given up on me and this blog. truth is, i can't post from a tablet, which is what i've been using. so when i get on my laptop, i post.)

here goes!!

1. who has your heart?

well, aside from billy joel or gregory alan isakov, i would have to say parker.

kidding. it's totally parker. i love that boy.

2. if you could commit any crime and completely get away with it (even God didn't see it) what would you do?

i don't know that i can answer that! really, if it came down to it, i would be a graffiti artist like banksy. which isn't a huge crime, but it's about as hard core as my street cred can handle.

3. what is the weirdest thing that you love?

pickled onions. and pickled beets. mostly anything pickled. and the guy who plays snape on harry potter (although i wouldn't say love...maybe just a weird crush).

mmmhmmm.

4. what would you do if you won a billion dollars?

i would go on a road trip around the u.s. with parker, then i'd go backpacking through europe. with parker. mostly i'd go on vacations. no expensive cars for me. stella's got my back.

5. if you could have any mode of transportation, what would it be?

a flying car. hands down. i know it's not real, but i couldn't tell you how many times i've imagined my car taking off when i'm stuck in traffic. then i'm disappointed when it doesn't happen.

6. what is your dream job?

oh. my. gosh. professional illustrator who illustrates album artwork for bands as well as does editorial illustration. holy crap i want to do that. i have a ways to go though.

7. what celebrity would you like to hang out with for 24 hours?

emma stone. hands down. i think she's awesome and just weird enough that we'd get along.

8. what human trait do you find obnoxious?

people who act superior to other people. haha. bad experiences with that one. (let's just say a roommate moved out because i called her out on that...oops.)

9. where do you work?

currently unemployed. but have possible interviews this week!! can i get a what what? (i only say that because "can _ _ _ what what?" was a clue for a crossword i did yesterday.)

10. what characteristic do you wish you had?

i really wish i had more faith in myself. because i don't, and you kind of need that thick skin and confidence in the industry i've chosen. someday.

11. who would win in a fight between a grilled cheese and a...taco...?

is that what you were really going to ask me? well, i think the grilled cheese sandwich - but only in a fair fight. but if it was prison rules, i'd put my money on the taco.

and i'm lame. i probably won't tag anybody. but if you want to do it and you're reading this, let me know! maybe i'll make the next post questions, if people care. haha.

poor blog. someday i'll get back to you.

sketching

i've been thinking a lot about that article i posted on sunday. love chooses us.

basically, what's been running a marathon in my head is how the story is never really over. it's not defined by the small bursts of good stories in the middle. it's created and it's constantly being created.

like today. i was in the wilk. there was a pre-black friday sale in the bookstore, so i'd been jostled around by way too many people looking at board games and overpriced chocolate. i sat in the cougareat and decided to sketch. (mostly because it was during my sketchbook class hour and i was supposed to be sketching.)

this lady and her husband were sitting at the table i decided to sketch. right as i began, she stood up and walked off and i saw her husband sitting there. he was old. not real old, but old. white hair and lots of plaid old.

i sketched him. and his plaid. and as i fell in love with the situation and thought about me and parker when we're in the lots of plaid old stage, his wife came back with two ice cream cones.

one for him. one for her.

and they sat there! eating it together! she in her really big pink sweater and him in his plaid. and i thought, "you've just gotta make every little moment part of your story."

like eating ice cream in the cougareat.
or listening to mat kearney when november weather is happening in august.

and people said i was photogenic.

most people put cute pictures on their blogs.
i don't.
we're going to celebrate the failed attempts at picture taking, because i think they're the funniest.

at whit's wedding reception.

apparently when parker gets bored waiting in
lines, he licks things. or people.

mini golfing. no one knows what that look on my face is.

hahahaha. every time i see this picture i laugh.

in the car, going to get a snow cone.

daisies are the friendliest [and most magical] flower.

i took this picture this morning at the table.
i was eating malt-o-meal with brown sugar.
[there may have been dancing
around to a love story. with my ginger, bien sûr .]

i think it's spring that did it to me

i was reading in a book recently that life isn't about all the big things that happen.

yes, the "big things" (like going to kindergarten, learning to drive a car, going to college, mission, marriage, kids, etc.) are incredibly important moments to existence. but the real substance of our lives is in the small things.

every single emotion felt: whether it be how i felt after i lost, when my heart beats powerfully sporadic for one reason or another, feeling alive after running 2.3 miles, being embarrassed daily in my french class....those make up me.

every single person met: family and friends obviously, the girl who complimented my red jacket, the guy who held the door open for me, the cashier at the bookstore who always comments on my buying peanut butter m&ms. they make up me.

the missionaries.whit leigh.sadie jean.that one missionary.britt. jake.mom. dad.cross-country runner.muslim.wyoming boy.

all part of me.

every small thing: those leaves i crunch on when i walk up the stairs from hell. driving with becs to get overpriced paninis in stella. the red-ness of strawberries. the goldfish who survived against all odds. how my best friend legitimately loves a boy and how happy that makes me. singing queen with whit.

those make up my story.

and for the first time in my life, i realized how grateful i am that they do make up my story. the goods. the bads. the in-betweens.

because when it comes down to it
life is all about the in-betweens.

special: indeed

i find something beautiful about leafless, winter trees. their silhouette against blue sky is so graceful looking; the black, unpredictable lines.

i'm sitting here at my kitchen table at home (not provo home, but home home) looking outside at a naked tree. what's especially lovely about this tree is that i can see the shapes of the buds forming; the buds that will eventually turn into blossoms, turning into green leaves. another kind of hope.

it's been a great and unproductive, sweat pants, big bang theory, mat kearney, rainy saturday.

hope yours was as delightful as mine!

'Tough Guys Don't Dance'.....the bane of my existence

I basically find pleasure in very simple things in life. One little happy moment can turn my entire day around from being crap to being a pretty dang good day. All in all (despite waking up to even more snow...ugh....just go away cold weather) I was having a pretty fantastic day.

And then I went to the library.

Well, things at the library were okay, until I decided to check out the books that I had found. I gave the girl my card, knowing in the back of my mind that, because of all my late fees and the missing Norman Mailer book that I never recovered, there might be some issues checking these books out. I was hoping beyond all reason that that wouldn't be the case, but when it took longer than normal for the girl to look at the computer screen, I realized that checking out a stupid book was going to be more complicated than I thought.

"You have $23.50 in fines, and to check out these books, you'll have to pay at least $8 of those fines," she told me matter-of-factly. I know she wasn't trying to be malicious. I know it was just her after-school job. But I was pretty embarrassed, and not too happy with her news to me.

Frantically, I dug through my purse, knowing that I had only $4, and admitting defeat, I just asked if I could come back later for the books. On going out to my car, I decided to call Whitney and ask her if she ever found that stupid book that she claimed she had never read. She told me that she had found it yesterday, and so maybe the I wouldn't have to use my gas money for the week paying for that book! I took it back to the library, and only had to pay the $4 that resided in my purse. It was rather exciting to me.

Haha, I know that all sounds ridiculously lame, but, like I said, simple things bring me the greatest joys. In all honesty, though, isn't that how life should be? If you're only looking for big, dramatic things to happen in life, either you'll live a very mundane existence, or you'll become a compulsive liar to make life seem more interesting (like the red-headed kid I had a crush on in my sophomore year....we so caught him in his lies...what a punk). Why not just take joy in dumb things? Ya, they may seem dumb to some people, but who cares? I certainly don't care about the fact that yes, the highlight of my day was finding a library book, but hey! I spared myself having to buy that disgusting book (Whit told me it was disgusting, at least). So...I'm happy.